it feels exciting, touching your hand...

Jill and I are going to go to Long Beach on Wednesday and check out the Buffalo Exchange there, I'm all taped out, by choice, so Ill watch her try on her hip tee shirts. It will be fun.

I need to work on my bike, and get it nice and clean so I can sell it. It needs a new back wheel, new tires and inner tubes, new handle bar tape, and an over all tune up.
I'll try and flip that thing for 150 or 200.

I'm going to buy some rings for my plugs, for the 5067694758th time, both of my ears are messed up right now, it's those damn gold coated plugs, well, gold colored at least, they irritate my ears.

These eyes,

It's been a month since I last posted. and I have 5 followers now. whhooaaoo00aaoo00aaoo. But blogspot wont show who they are...
anyway, yay me.

I sold a painting to Pat's mom, then blew it on art supplies, i regret nothing.

We saw (by we, I mean every person I have ever met, ever) saw Title Fight, Cold World and Touche Amore. it was fun. though a little aggravating but we don't need to go into that. Taylor and I held hands while stage diving. Pat was totally stoked that night, stoookkeeeddd

and now, a couple day later, im here, on blogspot, hating christmas.

I refuse to believe that you are who you say you are.

I was getting myself all riled up over things that annoy me. I do this quite often, constantly reminding myself about subjects that upset me, it's a pastime.

I don't like kids who buy a pair of Toms and are automatically the biggest environmentalist you ever met. And they think know about the suffering in this world, it's cool that you helped out a child in need, it really is, and even if they did buy a pair of Toms just to look cool, it's still a positive thing, but they are still lame blahblahblah bicthbitchbitch.

I don't like how kids make Vegan cupcakes and goodies because all their super cool indie friends do. I have no ground to be angry because non-Vegans eat Vegan food, I just wish they would go Vegan. Blahblahblah moanmoanmoan, you're not Vegan so you automatically suck, blahblahblah

blahblahblah screw scene kids and hipsters blahblahblah I'm the only original one on this earth blahblahblah im pissed blahblahblah

I bore myself.
Art show December 4th. 6-9. HBHS Art room. Be there.

p.s. I miss this day.

Very often

I push myself to the point of almost turning my back on what I know and love. I have taken major steps back before, but sometimes I can catch myself. I have to remind myself that the choices I have made are for me, not for a God, or my friends, or my idols, they are for me. And I have to keep this up simply becuase it is the right thing to do, Being Vegan is the right thing to do. If I take a step back, the only thing that matters in the end, is that I would be letting myself down.

Other than this, I have been doing a lot of backwards thinking about my past relationships(getting cold feet joe?) and I really do torture myself. But I did realize something, just for myself really, I can safely say that I am truly "over" someone when I can see them with a new significant other and say "well, good for them"

This blog is more for me really.
But, here's something for you.

WHY? - These Hands / January Twenty Something from anticon. on Vimeo.

Thanksgiving Break

The end is nearing, and I am indifferent. I don't really hate school, and I don't really lov eit, though there are aspects of it which I rather enjoys. So blahblahblah I'm a rebel bad ass

It's buy nothing day, I'll suggest this to my mom. It more of a stand against the Black Friday craze, and the length people will go to just to save 45% on items that they do not need, I could use some decent food though. I am sick and tired of sandwiches and fries from Trader Joe's I am starving.

Ashley and I both keep bringing up the last 7 Generations show, we miss that site so much. It was the most powerful show I have ever been to, and I do not see any other taking it's place. I can rememebr how heartbroken I was when Chris form 7 Gen red poem to the audience, and started crying. It was about accept the passing of aloved one, and the cherishing the time you spent with them, and what life would be like once they are gone.


In the end, we all hugged everyone, and talked to everyone. We made new friends and had a new found prid ein what we were standing up against, or at least I did. And can remember the advice Chris gave me, that it was OK to question yourself, and that everyone faults, and everyone doubts, but you must push through it.

I've painting with Pat all week, and I have some tickers that I want to put up. Theres an Art Show at the High school. December 4th 6p.m.-9p.m. It's in the Art room, please come buy, and look at what we have been up to.

You let me down!

Seriously...where the hell is my comb?

I'm up early to go to Saturday School. I haven't served a S School in over a year, this sucks. I get to sit in a room for 4 hours with plenty of kids I do not think kindly of, and here them bitch and moan about not being able to: talk, sleep, listen to their ipod.
I never understood most kids my age. They always complain about their teacher, or the homework, when most teaches are perfectly reasonable and most give you the opportunity to do homework in class.
I also never understood any student who says that they hate their teacher, I have never walked away form a class feeling bitterness for a teacher, I could never do it. I guess I'm just a suck up.

No shows for a while, though Ashley is taking me to go to Edge The Movie this Thursday.




I am really excited for that.
And Touche Amore is coming to chain with Cold World and Title Fight, and then with the Hope Conspiracy a few days later in December. That will be fun, though I don't know which one we are going to, it'd be sweet to go to both.

Still drawing a lot, which isn't much news to my friends who also draw, it's just what happens. I have started three things in Commercial Art, but I haven't finished any of them.
Alright, time to get ready, bye.

Hanging out in the computer lab at school.

We are supposed to be working on a research project, but I'm on here and lastfm instead.
Pretty productive if you ask me. Chase just told me screws bagels, shit just happened.

Austfuckan is being a nosy bitch, and Hayden is hip as hell.

Good food, Good Talk, Good tunes

This seriously has to be one of the best nights of my teenage life. And it's so simple hahaha I am so happy right now. I had spinach and this awesome rice from Trader Joes that my mom buys. I listened to 7 Generations live set and interview on this radio station kspc.com I believe.

And this station has this awesome hardcore hour, and before I heard all of this folk stuff.

I learned more about radical movements, and protesting and questioning yourself, and your beliefs to strengthen your values. I have only become more proud to be who I am after listening to that.

I'm meeting new people, finding new music
I had a sick day too, so it's strange that I am having a good night.

thank you for reading
I am never happy, I don't know how long this will last, this is nice though.

Change

Things are still moving along, this weekend was very fun. Got banged up, but both shows were great. Went down to San Diego last night for the same show I had seen on Friday night in Anaheim The scene is strange there. The first half of the night looked like a random death metal show at chain, gigantic plugs and scene hair and all. But it totally changed when Energy played, the mood was less threatening, which is odd, since Trash Talk played 50 minutes later, whose set was amazing by the way.
The vibe during both of Foundations sets was amazing. I felt at home, and Bane blew me away both nights.

I don't know if I want to believe what she told me when she dumped me, I'd like to think it was her just trying to advert some guilt from her shoulders, but I don't quite know.
But I'm fine.

8:13

My heart has been so savagely torn

but I'll give you my shirt, so tenderly worn.

That's what I meant to post last night, anyone who saw it, that was an accident.

Apostle

I am currently reading "The Ninth Gate" and "The Lies Your Teacher Told You" Both are very entertaining. Did you know Helen Keller was a Radical Socialist? It's the truth. Go pick up lies your teacher told you, if you haven't already heard of it, it's about all of the falsehoods in our History Textbooks, and everything left out, and the things that should have more light shined upon it.

please

go Vegan. Do it for yourself, for the environment. For the liberation and freedom of animals held captive to be tortured, raped and murdered. The world is bigger than us, and we do not have the right to use and murder animals for our selfish "needs". My soy milk, gives me calcium and contains to blood and puss like half of the milk you have ingested in your life time. Nuts and Beans give me my protein. I take supplements for Iron and other vitamins and minerals. I do not wear wool, or leather. Wear your own skin.

Veganthis.org

Who told you this room existed?

Things have been moving along, slowly, but, things are moving. I can't say for sure that I'm getting better, but things aren't so bad anymore. But everyday just throws more shit my way, it's rough. But, no more of me complaining, for now at least haha. The band thing slowed down real quick, I no longer have a job, and practices are so hard to set up because we have no space, and no money for a studio. And since school started up, there's no time. I've been crunching all of my money, I am literally saving 7 dollars for the last Seven Generations show, and that's in San Diego, I'm going to be packing snacks haha. It's going to be intense, and such a blast, Run With the Hunted and Abandon are playing, AND Gather is playing, those dudes and gal broke up. OK, none of you know what I'm talking about. It's ok, I like it that way.

I love and hate both of my art classes. I'm definitely being challenged by the work, and I can get really antsy with all of the people. But, I still have fun.

My douche meter just keeps going up, I say some really dumb things in my classes, I think I wouldn't like me. But I love all of my teachers, so it's hard not to get in a talking mood, well, I'm always talking. I need to stop that.

http://www.veganthis.org

Plutocratic Swine Rake

It's 11, and im not very tired. That's going to need to change real soon.
I guess this is a review of my summer. I did a very dumb thing, and I told someone just how much they put me through. Both didn't feel all that great.
Ashley, Kyron, Joel and I started a band, we are happy with it.
I got a job at Vans, it's been so busy this week, people need to learn to not fucking procrastinate and buy your fucking back to school clothes 3 weeks in advance.
Just got a haircut today, I'm happy with it.
Still Edge, Still protecting and respecting animals to the best of my abilities.
Looks like im going to need to ride a bike to school from now on, it's ok though, it's only more exercise.
Saw Have Heart twice on August 28th, along with Ceremony, Foundation, Totting Out, and
Shipwreck. None of you (if anyone even reads this) knows who they are.

We Were Here

I can't stand that who I am spend my time with is being decided by someone that hasn't been in my life for close to two years,
you're no longer my friend
but you still have an impact on my life
in the most negative fucking way.
I can't stand your life.
I can can't stand that right now you are breathing good air, probably thinking about her.
She is a brighter soul than you could ever be.
And one day she will realize this,
I hope that one day she will see this.

yesterday,

I was ready to fall down and pass out all day. I had 5 hours of sleep of because of registration and then we had band practice.
It was all fun, except for the end of registration. God she is such a bitch and all of her friends laugh like jackals. I just started shaking with rage while typing this. It's bad.
but I went to bed at around 11:30, first time in like a month, ha.

Practice went well. Our original drummer left us hanging, so Joel, our would be second guitarist took over on drums. Then we had to search through Whittier or wherever the hell we were for the studio.
But we finally found it, and we finally got our sound down. And we got a solid song and an intro done. Don't know what we are going to use the intro for yet, but, it sounds good. We were all super stoked with what we made.

Pikul

I'm pretty tired, this sleep schedule have isn't working out very well and it makes waking up for work even harder.
I put on Silversun Pickups just for fun. I forgot I like this band. If you havn't already, you should look them up. Im sure eveyrone's heard Lazy Eye on the radio 78,093,676 times but Pikul is a powerful album.
All today I havn't known what I'm supposed to be feeling. I just got a lot of things off of my chest, It just feels unnatural. I can't remember the last time I wasn't carrying carrying such wieght.
I feel a strong pang for the girl I hurt, and I feel some sort of pride(?) for standing up for myself.
But I cleared a lot of air with an old friend, and we talked about everything that has happened between us and in our personal lives. It felt nice, to have someone to talk to, I mean love my friends, but you can never have enough close friends by your side.

here's something else you should look up



goodnight.

"im losing sleep, im losing friends.."

this is new.

I'm cutting ties
I'm losing
shoulders to cry on
I'm shuddering in the dark